Psalm 27: 3,1 "In this I will be CONFIDENT --> The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?"
*Confidence at no time has anything to do with me. It has to do with Him. The Hebrew for confident is to hasten to refuge. Confidence is knowing there IS refuge! Confidence, is embracing your own suckiness, and knowing you are safe somewhere, because it's not in you!!! It's IN HIM! You will judge yourself and hold yourself to so high a standard, you won't be able to help but to fall.
God is good. He IS a strong tower. He IS a mountain. He IS refuge. The I Am, in Hebrew, is more "I shall be what I shall be..." and that is Good. Always.
Ps 4:3 The Lord WILL HEAR when I call Him.
Ps 4:8 You alone, O Lord, MAKE ME DWELL IN SAFETY.
Ps 5:3 My voice You SHALL HEAR in the morning.
Ps 5:12 You WILL BLESS the righteous, You WILL SURROUND him as with a shield.
Ps 6:8-9 The Lord HAS HEARD the voice of my weeping. The Lord HAS HEARD my
supplication, the Lord WILL RECEIVE my prayer.
Ps 119:32 For You SHALL ENLARGE MY HEART
I want to be as confident as David!!!!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Jesus talks with Cain
This is so fascinating to me. Jesus and Cain (as in Adam and Eve's firstborn), had a friendship. Duh, right? Well, I guess I just never thought about it.
We know that the Lord walked with Adam and Eve, and then where did He go? Did He just stop walking with people? I guess I've just always assumed that when shame entered the picture, which was like, right away, that Jesus didn't walk with people anymore. Really, not much thought had gone into that. This might be common knowledge to every Bible-reader out there, but sometimes things take a little slower to digest for me. I can't explain it.
But in Genesis, it says that Cain, and Abel both, brought their offerings TO the Lord. And Abel's was looked upon with favor, and Cain's was not, which made him angry. And the Lord spoke to Cain very clearly regarding the issue. I love this. It is so like Jesus to say this. I am surprised these exact words were not spoken in one of His teachings. Who knows, maybe they were? But in 4:7 He says to Cain, oh this is sooo good... "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
Wow... isn't that so simple? And it's Truth. Sin desires to have us. And we are commanded to master it. You must master it. That's personal responsibility. Obey the Lord, you walk forward in favor. Don't obey Lord, sins desire for you ensnares you. It puts you in a headlock, and you don't think you can breathe. Then all of a sudden you don't want to do right, because you think you are in control of your next breath... but we were told to master that. The first son was advised that obedience would keep him free. Not for control, but for the sake of communion with Jesus. Because He desires people. Proverbs 8 says that He, as the craftsman who was there at creation, continually rejoices in His presence, and rejoices in mankind. That's a God of love. He rejoices.
But sin is crouching. It's still there. It doesn't go away. It's waiting. Master it. We've got to master it. For the sake of Jesus. He is worthy.
We know that the Lord walked with Adam and Eve, and then where did He go? Did He just stop walking with people? I guess I've just always assumed that when shame entered the picture, which was like, right away, that Jesus didn't walk with people anymore. Really, not much thought had gone into that. This might be common knowledge to every Bible-reader out there, but sometimes things take a little slower to digest for me. I can't explain it.
But in Genesis, it says that Cain, and Abel both, brought their offerings TO the Lord. And Abel's was looked upon with favor, and Cain's was not, which made him angry. And the Lord spoke to Cain very clearly regarding the issue. I love this. It is so like Jesus to say this. I am surprised these exact words were not spoken in one of His teachings. Who knows, maybe they were? But in 4:7 He says to Cain, oh this is sooo good... "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
Wow... isn't that so simple? And it's Truth. Sin desires to have us. And we are commanded to master it. You must master it. That's personal responsibility. Obey the Lord, you walk forward in favor. Don't obey Lord, sins desire for you ensnares you. It puts you in a headlock, and you don't think you can breathe. Then all of a sudden you don't want to do right, because you think you are in control of your next breath... but we were told to master that. The first son was advised that obedience would keep him free. Not for control, but for the sake of communion with Jesus. Because He desires people. Proverbs 8 says that He, as the craftsman who was there at creation, continually rejoices in His presence, and rejoices in mankind. That's a God of love. He rejoices.
But sin is crouching. It's still there. It doesn't go away. It's waiting. Master it. We've got to master it. For the sake of Jesus. He is worthy.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Justice Rally
I don't have a lot of words to say, I'm just stirred after Exodus Cry's Justice Rally at FSM this evening. It was a prayer/awareness meeting on the sex industry/human trafficking, and abortion. Then they played 22weeks, a true story movie about a woman who went to have an abortion. The next day she went back to the doctor, and gave birth to a severely premature baby, that ended up dying. It was startling, but real.
http://www.exoduscry.com/
Friday, May 1, 2009
On Eagles Wings
I read in a book, about five or so years ago, an analogy about knowing God. Knowing God is like walking into the horizon, the more you walk, the more you see, and yet the horizon is still so far off in the distance. It's like you can't ever get there. Our promise is that we will, we get to spend Eternity getting to know God with unveiled faces. I will keep walking, because I get to know Him more. I'm close to a sunrise, though, I can feel it. Some things have been dark for entirely too long, and Jesus is the Bright and Morning Star, and I love Him, and I'm walking to Him, and Him alone.
Sometimes, though, I abandon Him. I hear a voice that launches me into confusion, and I walk away, to try and figure things out. Voices of accusation burden me with guilt, shame, and condemnation. So I stay away from Jesus. I can be so blinded sometimes, because I will never figure things out without my Jesus. The world tells me that it's okay to take pity days, but doesn't that feed self-pity rather than the blood of Jesus? We all have those days, I know that. It's just a matter of what we do with them. If the enemy beats us up a little bit, we just crawl up with Daddy and let Him love... because God IS Love. He won't not love me on a down day. I had read a couple of things about a year ago from a Brennan Manning book, and I often let go of these Truths, but wow, when they touch my heart for another round, I become new once again. And truly new, not back to how they originally set me free, but even newer.
"Jesus says, 'He wants you home more than you want to be home. His love knows no bounds. Never compare your pallid, capricious, conditional human love with my Fathers love. He is God, not man.' "
"We cannot assume that he feels about us the way we feel about ourselves, unless we love ourselves intensely and freely."
Amen.
When I was a girl, I hated church. I didn't know God, so of course I hated church. I recently heard a teacher say about those who go to church, but aren't really in love with God, that they have it rough, because not only do they go to hell, they have to go to (religious) church, too.
Well, there were a couple of songs that were sung, that I absolutely loved. It's so funny, now, looking back. It's amazing the power of the spoken word. I had no idea I was singing scripture over myself, in fact, Psalm 91. I remember finding such strength in this song, though I had no idea what it meant. It is called "On Eagles Wings," a Catholic hymn. I would love to hear a more up-to-date version of it, because it still makes me cry. Maybe that's because it reminds me of being a child. Through this song, God is showing me that He was always there.
I remember one day at church, we were saying the Our Father, and the whole congregation would cross pews to hold hands (I wish we would do that in church now), and I was on an end. I remember feeling a presence in my hand, and I believed that God was holding my hand, really holding my hand. But the awe of that moment didn't last very long. I wasn't awed by God, but I'm learning now, that He has always been after me. As He reminds me of these things, I am shocked to see my childhood transformed. I guess that's part of being 're-born.' He really was there. And now I can go there with Him, and see who He created me to be. I was created to know, and to feel, and behold, Father God, Bridegroom King, and Comforting Counselor.
My name means pure... and the Word says that the pure in heart WILL see God.
I sang over myself throughout my childhood, that "He will raise you up, on eagles wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of his hands." I know now, why I found hope in those words. "Under His wings your refuge..." Wow.
Here is the song, if it doesn't move you, it's okay, but it sure means a heck of a lot to me.
Sometimes, though, I abandon Him. I hear a voice that launches me into confusion, and I walk away, to try and figure things out. Voices of accusation burden me with guilt, shame, and condemnation. So I stay away from Jesus. I can be so blinded sometimes, because I will never figure things out without my Jesus. The world tells me that it's okay to take pity days, but doesn't that feed self-pity rather than the blood of Jesus? We all have those days, I know that. It's just a matter of what we do with them. If the enemy beats us up a little bit, we just crawl up with Daddy and let Him love... because God IS Love. He won't not love me on a down day. I had read a couple of things about a year ago from a Brennan Manning book, and I often let go of these Truths, but wow, when they touch my heart for another round, I become new once again. And truly new, not back to how they originally set me free, but even newer.
"Jesus says, 'He wants you home more than you want to be home. His love knows no bounds. Never compare your pallid, capricious, conditional human love with my Fathers love. He is God, not man.' "
"We cannot assume that he feels about us the way we feel about ourselves, unless we love ourselves intensely and freely."
Amen.
When I was a girl, I hated church. I didn't know God, so of course I hated church. I recently heard a teacher say about those who go to church, but aren't really in love with God, that they have it rough, because not only do they go to hell, they have to go to (religious) church, too.
Well, there were a couple of songs that were sung, that I absolutely loved. It's so funny, now, looking back. It's amazing the power of the spoken word. I had no idea I was singing scripture over myself, in fact, Psalm 91. I remember finding such strength in this song, though I had no idea what it meant. It is called "On Eagles Wings," a Catholic hymn. I would love to hear a more up-to-date version of it, because it still makes me cry. Maybe that's because it reminds me of being a child. Through this song, God is showing me that He was always there.
I remember one day at church, we were saying the Our Father, and the whole congregation would cross pews to hold hands (I wish we would do that in church now), and I was on an end. I remember feeling a presence in my hand, and I believed that God was holding my hand, really holding my hand. But the awe of that moment didn't last very long. I wasn't awed by God, but I'm learning now, that He has always been after me. As He reminds me of these things, I am shocked to see my childhood transformed. I guess that's part of being 're-born.' He really was there. And now I can go there with Him, and see who He created me to be. I was created to know, and to feel, and behold, Father God, Bridegroom King, and Comforting Counselor.
My name means pure... and the Word says that the pure in heart WILL see God.
I sang over myself throughout my childhood, that "He will raise you up, on eagles wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of his hands." I know now, why I found hope in those words. "Under His wings your refuge..." Wow.
Here is the song, if it doesn't move you, it's okay, but it sure means a heck of a lot to me.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Always Known
Several years ago a friend of mine confessed some very deep things to me. She told me that the hole in her heart was so big, and so real, that she could literally put her finger over her chest and trace the shape of the hole. As I sat alone later that evening, I realized that I wanted to know how big the hole in my heart was, too. I put my finger on my heart, and willfully chose to have the pain come to the surface so I could feel what shape it was. At first, it was small. But memories came into my mind and I had to make a quick decision if it hurt me or not. As I said 'yes' to all these memories being painful, the hole just got bigger, and deeper, and uglier. I really wasn't sure what was happening to me, but I had never acknowledged that certain things hurt me before. For years I went to a psychiatrist and a counselor, they had both told me I was in denial. All of a sudden, that made sense. I started to own the pain that was inside of me. I knew God was listening to me, and I for the first time in my life, I needed Him to know that I knew, that I was hurting.
For almost three years after that day, I went through major reconstruction of my heart. As my friend Sarah Riche calls it, 'heart surgery.' It hurt incredibly, but was also the sweetest time of my life. When the foundation that I had been living my whole life on was completely shattered, everything around me crumbled, except Jesus. I saw Him, and He beckoned me to follow Him. With every 'Yes' empowered by the Holy Spirit, a new piece of foundation was laid, and I moved forward, step by itty-bitty baby step. But it was a solid foundation being laid, beautiful, strong, real... unshakable.
Over these past years, I've really learned how to seek the Lord deeply. I've learned to go to the places often unvisited because it usually requires a sledgehammer to break through walls standing in the way. But I still notice that something has been missing. There are struggles that still seem to permeate every aspect of my life, of who I am. I know people feel it, I know I hurt people, and I know these pains cause other people to hurt me in ways that shouldn't shake me. But, I am excited to go there with the Lord, because I know Him. And I know He reveals. He is God of Revelation and Love. He is Father, and He is the Good Shepherd.
The Lord brought this verse to my heart this morning: Ephesians 1:3 Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly [places] in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved.
And with that He reminded me of something that was taught during my training to work with troubled teenagers. I don't remember the exact wording, but basically, the greatest trouble for these teens is not knowing that they are thought about by their family when their family isn't around. Not believing that they are held in the memory of others. Which, is the fear of abandonment. This isn't just a fear for teenagers that have to go through residential treatment centers and foster homes. This is a very real fear that the enemy uses to destroy our souls.
Well, with so much of the healing in my heart, I know now that people do know me, remember me, think about me and love me. And I treasure that. I am constantly amazed, though, at how much I miss the big picture. The Lord has been reminding me a lot lately of the night I was saved. He showed me today that in my heart, I have marked the beginning of God's thoughts toward me on that day. I have known with my head that God has always thought about me, and Jesus thought about me on the cross. But today, it started to sink in a bit, that He, Eternal God, didn't start thinking about me when I started thinking about Him. That's just plain silly.
How does a relationship get more beautiful? He formed me. He didn't just forget about me until I came to Him. No, He saved me! He came to me! He is The Good Shepherd! He came out into the hills to pick up this lonely, lost, confused sheep and put me on His shoulders and take me home. And from before "Let their be light" He knew my name, ME. Katie Kohrs. "Let their be light" was so that I would say yes to His Love, so that He and I can be together for eternity!
Every ounce of pain I went through, He was right there, taking it upon Himself. Though I felt so alone during those years, during so many years, I look back now, and I can see Him. I see now that we share in suffering together. It's as though my childhood has been transformed. The circumstances haven't changed. I look back and still see that I was a lonely child and though nothing will change what I felt all those years, eternity sets in and I can be with Him in those times. He is now a part of my childhood. Now that He and I are one, then I share in His identity, and we share memories together. I was never alone, nor will I ever be. Praise Jesus!
Every particle of the Living Eternal Majestic Beautiful God, has been directed toward me from before there was light. This is Good News. This sets me free. I have been known, thought about, and anticipated, before light even existed. Oh the worthiness of an identity in the Lord! I am not an afterthought. He is that intimate and in love with me. He is that deliberate with His children. We carry a form, an identity, a purpose, far more profound than, and preexisting Genesis 1:1.
For almost three years after that day, I went through major reconstruction of my heart. As my friend Sarah Riche calls it, 'heart surgery.' It hurt incredibly, but was also the sweetest time of my life. When the foundation that I had been living my whole life on was completely shattered, everything around me crumbled, except Jesus. I saw Him, and He beckoned me to follow Him. With every 'Yes' empowered by the Holy Spirit, a new piece of foundation was laid, and I moved forward, step by itty-bitty baby step. But it was a solid foundation being laid, beautiful, strong, real... unshakable.
Over these past years, I've really learned how to seek the Lord deeply. I've learned to go to the places often unvisited because it usually requires a sledgehammer to break through walls standing in the way. But I still notice that something has been missing. There are struggles that still seem to permeate every aspect of my life, of who I am. I know people feel it, I know I hurt people, and I know these pains cause other people to hurt me in ways that shouldn't shake me. But, I am excited to go there with the Lord, because I know Him. And I know He reveals. He is God of Revelation and Love. He is Father, and He is the Good Shepherd.
The Lord brought this verse to my heart this morning: Ephesians 1:3 Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly [places] in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved.
And with that He reminded me of something that was taught during my training to work with troubled teenagers. I don't remember the exact wording, but basically, the greatest trouble for these teens is not knowing that they are thought about by their family when their family isn't around. Not believing that they are held in the memory of others. Which, is the fear of abandonment. This isn't just a fear for teenagers that have to go through residential treatment centers and foster homes. This is a very real fear that the enemy uses to destroy our souls.
Well, with so much of the healing in my heart, I know now that people do know me, remember me, think about me and love me. And I treasure that. I am constantly amazed, though, at how much I miss the big picture. The Lord has been reminding me a lot lately of the night I was saved. He showed me today that in my heart, I have marked the beginning of God's thoughts toward me on that day. I have known with my head that God has always thought about me, and Jesus thought about me on the cross. But today, it started to sink in a bit, that He, Eternal God, didn't start thinking about me when I started thinking about Him. That's just plain silly.
How does a relationship get more beautiful? He formed me. He didn't just forget about me until I came to Him. No, He saved me! He came to me! He is The Good Shepherd! He came out into the hills to pick up this lonely, lost, confused sheep and put me on His shoulders and take me home. And from before "Let their be light" He knew my name, ME. Katie Kohrs. "Let their be light" was so that I would say yes to His Love, so that He and I can be together for eternity!
Every ounce of pain I went through, He was right there, taking it upon Himself. Though I felt so alone during those years, during so many years, I look back now, and I can see Him. I see now that we share in suffering together. It's as though my childhood has been transformed. The circumstances haven't changed. I look back and still see that I was a lonely child and though nothing will change what I felt all those years, eternity sets in and I can be with Him in those times. He is now a part of my childhood. Now that He and I are one, then I share in His identity, and we share memories together. I was never alone, nor will I ever be. Praise Jesus!
Every particle of the Living Eternal Majestic Beautiful God, has been directed toward me from before there was light. This is Good News. This sets me free. I have been known, thought about, and anticipated, before light even existed. Oh the worthiness of an identity in the Lord! I am not an afterthought. He is that intimate and in love with me. He is that deliberate with His children. We carry a form, an identity, a purpose, far more profound than, and preexisting Genesis 1:1.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Farmer Katie
I didn't get much sleep last night. You see, it stormed. Gideon, the valiant Border Collie that I am dog-sitting was scraping to hide between my bed and the wall. When that didn't work, he jumped on my bed. I was in that mode of 'what is going on' because I was sleeping. I let it go on for a while, thinking I would finally just fall asleep. At least an hour went by, it was now 3 am, and I remembered that his 'mom' said to put him in his cage when it stormed. Valiant Gideon was then promptly placed in his cage. Ha. For another hour or so, all I heard were his paws pushing against the door of his cage. So, around 4am, I moved his cage into another room. I lay on my bed, and it starts thundering really loud. Sounds kee
p me up, so by 8am, I hadn't had much sleep.
p me up, so by 8am, I hadn't had much sleep.
But Gideon has become my right-hand man these past couple of days. We eat our meals together, play inside and outside together. I pet the horses, he chases them. I feed the horses lettuce and carrots, Gideon eats their poop. We have morning time with Jesus together. Even when I go to the bathroom, he finds a way to be in there with me. And as I am sitting on my bed, he is sitting on the floor looking up at me, tongue flopping out of his mouth and tail beating a rhythm on the carpet. I love this life.
I have always wanted to be a farmer. Farmer Katie. And today, I sort of felt like one. Sort of. I didn't get up early, and do back-breaking work all day. But, I pet horses, and filled their water container. I fed them, and am becoming closer friends with the male. He waits for me by the fence, and kicks and stomps the ground if I don't come over to him when I'm outside. Ha. I rebuked the dog for trying to scare the horses. I painted. I sat outside and read my Bible as the dog laid on my lap, and in perfect view of the horses and sunset. I drank iced tea. I gave away cucumbers to passers-by. I drove along the count
ry road. And I ate fried chicken at a buffet. I should go to goodwill tomorrow and buy a pair of overalls, and suck on a piece of straw all day. Gideon, too. Gideon and I should have matching overalls, and a black and white photo taken in front of the horses. Haha.
I have always wanted to be a farmer. Farmer Katie. And today, I sort of felt like one. Sort of. I didn't get up early, and do back-breaking work all day. But, I pet horses, and filled their water container. I fed them, and am becoming closer friends with the male. He waits for me by the fence, and kicks and stomps the ground if I don't come over to him when I'm outside. Ha. I rebuked the dog for trying to scare the horses. I painted. I sat outside and read my Bible as the dog laid on my lap, and in perfect view of the horses and sunset. I drank iced tea. I gave away cucumbers to passers-by. I drove along the count
ry road. And I ate fried chicken at a buffet. I should go to goodwill tomorrow and buy a pair of overalls, and suck on a piece of straw all day. Gideon, too. Gideon and I should have matching overalls, and a black and white photo taken in front of the horses. Haha.
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