Joy in the JPR

Today was rather fun. Then intense. And now I sit in bed, wondering how it's all related.

The day started with our second lesson on the prophetic lifestyle. At the end of the class the teacher asked if there were people in the room who would like to prophesy over everyone else. Well, something the Lord has been showing me through the Spirit and through others, is that I am supposed to be doing this regularly. So, I got up. The teacher split us up into 2 teams, and he would pick out a person, and we would prophesy over them. I did feel kinda small next to everyone else, they had awesome words, and mine were kinda muffled, messy, and short. But I figured that I have to learn somewhere. Confidence did rise up in me that I could do this more often. Fun fun fun.

We had our day in the Justice Prayer Room today, and I think today was probably the funnest day I have had in either of the prayer rooms. Basically, they started singing about joy, and the singers were just having FUN. You could see that the room was unified, and we were all singing to each other. At one point, one of the singers...very joyfully with a big smile on his face, sang the words "I feel the Lord saying..." and a guy behind me not even thinking about it just yelled out "what do you hear the Lord saying?" It was hilarious! People were clapping and dancing (the video). There really was a lot of joy in the room, and it felt safe.

We had small group tonight, and Erica and I went expecting to watch the Excellencies of Christ. Instead, it ended up being a 3-hour prayer meeting for those who needed healing. The Lord really encountered our hearts. I had a couple of things spoken over me that I am still processing, and soaking in. Really, I just want to get everything that I can while I am here.

I would say that the theme of my time her thus far, has been how good God is. For various reasons, I have felt so strongly that I have to work for God's love (and most of us do). Even when I deal with it, God reveals another area to me where I think I have to work for His love. Oh, but God loves to love us freely. A friend was praying over me that the reason the Lord is allowing my journey to take so long is for the intimacy. He wants to be close to me, He wants to walk with me in it. That confirmed a lot of stuff He has been speaking directly to me. It's so hard to really soak that in...that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords just wants to be with you. How do you take that in, without taking time to take it in? You don't. You have to receive it. And to receive it, you have to let yourself be untrained of your skewed vision of God. To let yourself be untrained, means you have to give up your rights to yourself, especially pride. And to get rid of pride means to see yourself as God sees you. And to see yourself as God sees you is to know who God is based on the specific personality that He gave only to you.

It also just so happened that I read this today in "Deep Unto Deep" by Dana Candler:

"He honors the way that we receive, the way that we hear and the way that we understand. He loves and agrees with what He created in each one, and as unique as each person is is the uniqueness of how He reveals His love to each individual heart. We must become students of His "way" with us that we might more quickly recognize and receive His affections and leadings. His "way" with me, or the way that He relates to me, flows out of the very specific way that He formed me. Knowing His way with our hears involves knowing ourselves, with our own personal rhythms and frames. Let us consider this. If He relates to me according to the limitations of my frame and the capacity of my heart and mind, are not those specific details of my person worth studying? And if truly there resides within me a beautiful mystery of Jesus, indeed a very reflection of His heart, and every part of my creation points to it, will I not do well to peer in to the way He has formed me-the intricacy of my frame-so that I might discover and understand what He has desired to reveal of Himself withing me?"

Can we commit to knowing and loving who Jesus is inside of us? I long to do such a thing, because Jesus longs to make Himself to be known through me. Katie Kohrs. From, well, who knows where? Germany? Kentucky? The girl who was scared to death of plastic spiders as a kid? The girl that would get so nervous around people that I couldn't speak? I feel like God choosing weak and broken people is risky business, but I love that He does it. Because I get to be a part of history of God, that actually is eternal.

God works with your 'yes.' Just say it. Or at least say that you are willing to be willing to say 'yes.' He likes that, too.